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Angeline says:
August 18, 2011 at 5:47 am
OP, I think you sort of cherry-picked out of the comments. Yes, it’s true, it would be hard to overcome a lack of physical response if he’s not your physical ‘type’, and the couple of pissy responders would likely be the first to tell you they aren’t turned on by an overweight woman. That said, you completely skimmed over the part that said by age 41 you should know what you like and how to communicate that in a positive way. Being insistent that that by age 41 you won’t stand for mediocre sex isn’t enough without the attendant insistence of yourself that you’re contributing to good sex. I’d also be really cautious about grading someone’s potential in bed after one tryst.
There were also a couple of great suggestions for exactly how to bring him along without it being a Big Talk kind of thing.
But first you’d have to figure out what you want. If what you really want is the romance novel guy who magically knows everything you secretly want in bed, you’re better off with the novels than the man. It can be massively uncomfortable the first time you do it, but it can also (if done right) be massively rewarding. Might not hurt to have a bit of reflection on whether you’re all you can be for him, too.
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